Death

close up photo of skull
Photo by Mitja Juraja on Pexels.com
42, it rings in my ears at each age.  
Growing closer at each step.  
At age 11 it was a distant number,  
Now sitting at 41, the horror sets in.  

An age that was once so far away,  
now sits on my doorstep.  
Will the same fate befall me?  
Will my kids lose everything, all in one day?  

One long dreadful day.  
I felt like the sun would never rise,  
and my heart would never mend.  
The hole in my heart and anguish in my soul.  
I would never see you again.  

All the things you missed.  
All the times I needed you.  
All the times I tell my kids,  
Who are you?  

So, they know and love you   
as much as I do,  
But they will never truly know!  

Oh, this horrid age,  
The despair comes back and the fears.  
Will my kids live without me?  

As I lived without you.  
A mother's worst fear and a daughter’s reality. 

MOM

flowers marguerites destroyed dead
Photo by Gratisography on Pexels.com
Each spring day I think of you. 
I wonder where life would have taken us. 

I wonder if we would have fought through my teen years.   
Is this image of you that rolls around in my head true? 
Or just the memory of a girl who lost her mom. 

Would you be here for my kids? 
Do you watch us from above? 
Are you proud of me or did I let you down? 

Each day that goes by, I remember you less. 
Only through photos are my memories clear. 
Each day that does by, your voice fades more. 

I wonder where life would have taken us. 
How different would life be if you were still here? 
Is the dream in my head true of just? 
Or just the wish of a girl who lost her mom.

42

 

42, it rings in my ears at each age

Growing closer at each step

At age 11 it was a distant number

but now sitting at 41, the horror sets in.

 


An age that was once so far away

now sits on my doorstep

Will the same fate befall me?

Will my kids lose everything, all in one day?

 

 

One long dreadful day

It felt like the sun would never rise

and my heart would never mend.

 

 

The hole in my heart and

The despair that I would never

See you again.

 

 

All the things you missed.

All the times I needed you.

All the times I tell my kids.

Who you are, so they know,

And love you as much as I do,

But they will never truly know!

 

 

Oh, this horrid age,

The despair comes back and the fears.

Will my kids live without me,

As I lived without you.

 

 

A mother’s worse fear and a daughters reality.